Hello… and welcome to A Little Zen, A Little Mess.
I’ve been carrying a question with me this week.
Not because I found the answer…
But because I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
What do you hope people remember about you?
Not years from now.
Not at the end of your life.
Just… if someone happened to describe you today.
What would you hope they say?
Would it be that you were successful?
Funny?
Always busy?
Always available?
Or would it be something quieter than that?
I wonder about this because, somewhere along the way, we’ve become very good at measuring our lives.
How much we’ve earned.
How much we’ve achieved.
How many people follow us.
How many places we’ve been.
And yet, when I think about the people who’ve stayed with me…
I honestly couldn’t tell you what car they drove.
Or what job title they had.
I remember something else.
I remember how I felt around them.
I remember the aunt who always remembered your favourite dishes and made sure she fed them to you with a lot of love.
The teacher who made the quiet children feel seen.
The friend who somehow knew when to call… without being told.
None of them were trying to become unforgettable.
They just had a way of making other people feel like they mattered.
And isn’t that interesting?
Maybe people don’t remember us for the highlights of our lives.
Maybe they remember us for the feeling we leave behind.
You know, there’s a lovely line by the poet Maya Angelou that’s often quoted:
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
I’ve heard it many times over the years.
And I always felt it was the most profound thing I had ever heard.
Because making someone feel seen doesn’t require grand gestures.
Sometimes it’s remembering how they take their tea.
Listening without checking your phone.
Not rushing someone when they’re trying to find the right words.
Saying, “Take your time.”
Smiling at the security guard you’ve seen every morning for years.
Looking up when someone walks into the room instead of looking down at your screen.
Those moments seem so ordinary.
And yet… isn’t life mostly made up of ordinary moments?
Maybe that’s why they matter so much.
I’ve also been thinking about something else.
We spend so much time trying to leave an impression.
Maybe what we should really be trying to leave… is a little more peace.
Imagine if, after spending time with us, people felt lighter.
Not because we solved their problems.
But because we listened.
Because we didn’t rush them.
Because they didn’t have to pretend.
I think that’s a beautiful way to move through the world.
Not asking,
“Did they admire me?”
But quietly wondering,
“Did they feel safe with me?”
And maybe that’s the kind of question we don’t ask ourselves often enough.
Not to judge ourselves.
Just to gently realign.
Because here’s the lovely thing.
Our legacy isn’t something we’re building someday.
It’s quietly being built in the conversations we have today.
In the patience we show when we’re tired.
In the kindness we offer when nobody is watching.
In the way we make space for another person’s story.
So perhaps the question isn’t really,
“What do I hope people remember about me?”
Perhaps it’s,
“How do I want people to feel after they’ve spent time with me?”
I’ve been sitting with that question all week.
Maybe you’ll carry it with you too.
Thank you for spending these few minutes with me.
Until next time…
Be someone’s calm.
The world has enough noise already.
