Hey! Hello Sunshine! And how have you been? How has your week been? You know the other day I was just thinking about all of these people in our lives. Some of them who love us but then there are some who really don’t like us. And some who outright hate us. And I’m sure all of us have some sort of negative person in our lives.
And it reminded me of this quote which was made famous by Priyanka Chopra, a Bollywood star Priyanka Chopra and in an interview she said, haters are gonna hate, potatoes are gonna pate, rotis are gonna rotate, you do what you do. And I honestly love this quote, I just absolutely love it.
And I know a lot of you may say, you know what, it’s easier said than done. It’s not that easy to ignore the haters. Maybe not. And I do understand it does get difficult because there are people who are outright nasty and think you don’t deserve a place on this planet. They can get mean, they can get rude. And sometimes we keep telling ourselves, you know, okay, let’s just ignore all of this hate. But there are times when it gets difficult. What they say and do hurts you.
But you know what, that angry person, that negative person, that person who’s committed to finding fault with you, only gets credit if they succeed. Which means, if we accept what they say as the truth for our lives, then we’ve started hanging out on their level. What exactly is a hater, you’ll wonder, right?
Well, let me just tell you, they are obsessive and disliking you becomes a full-time hobby for them. Very often, you’ll see they’ll create an image of you in their heads which is probably much worse than reality.
And everything you say and do is bad simply because it’s you. Their dislike for you is not quiet or dignified, mind you. They will make sure that everyone gets to know just how awful you are as a person. What I’m really trying to say is that
It doesn’t matter how you choose to live your life, whether you build a business or you work a corporate job, whether you have children or you choose not to have children, whether you travel the world or whether you choose to live in the same town your entire life, whether you go to the gym five times a week or whether you choose not to exercise at all. Whatever you do, someone is going to judge you for it.
There will always be these haters and difficult people. You will find someone in your life who for no reason or fault of your own will find a way to project their fears and their negativity and insecurities onto you. And you will have to learn to deal with it. Like they say, suck it up, deal with it.
The truth is, as human beings, we all like to be validated. And yes, some of us like it more than the others, but everyone wants to be respected and appreciated to some degree. I know as a human being, I like to be appreciated too. And I know that whenever I choose to take a risk and share my work with the world, for example, this podcast, I wonder what people around me will think.
You know, there are times, there are those fleeting moments when I wonder whether the people, my friends, my family, whether they like the particular episode of the podcast or not. Will they discuss it with their friends later? Will they actually send it across to people just because they thought the episode was really nice? Now don’t get me wrong, I believe in myself. And I know that I want to contribute something to the world around me.
But there are those fleeting moments when I sometimes wonder, will people criticize me when I start sharing my work with them? Will they actually judge me when I start sharing the things that I actually care about or believe in? But you know, at moments like this, I sometimes step back and I tell myself, you can either be judged because you created something or ignored because you left all of your greatness inside of you. And eventually, that is what is most important, isn’t it?
Believing in yourself rather than protecting yourself from all of the criticism. Now there was this very famous race car driver and I think he was asked in an interview, how do you cope with all of the hatred and the criticism? I think his name was Andretti and I think he said, don’t look at the wall, your car goes where your eyes go.
He said, you know, when young drivers are starting to race, this is one of the most critical lessons that they learn. When you’re driving at 200 miles per hour, you need to focus on the road in front of you. If you keep looking at the wall, then you’ll end up hitting it.
Now the same thing can be said for all of us, for our life, our work and us dealing with haters. Criticism and negativity from difficult people is like a wall and if you keep focusing on it, then you’ll run right into it. You’ll get blocked by negative emotions, by anger, by self-doubt. Your mind will go where your attention is focused.
Criticism and negativity don’t prevent you from reaching the finish line, but they will definitely distract you from it. But if you keep focusing on the road ahead of you and on moving forward, then you can safely speed past the walls and barriers that are nearby. You know, some people are just determined to take things personally and tear down the work of others. But trust me, your life is too short to worry about pleasing those difficult people.
You keep moving on and focusing on the road and just keep ignoring the world. Now, how do we deal with these difficult people? Let me tell you what I do. First and foremost, don’t be the hater. Don’t be the person who tears down someone else’s dreams and hard work.
The world needs more people who contribute their gifts, who contribute their kindness, who contribute in terms of just reaching out to another human being, who contribute in terms of just showing up in a compassionate manner. You know because the truth is working up the courage to do that can be tough. You know just working up the courage to kind of go and put your work out into the world and tell people what you think and believe in.
Instead of tearing the person down or being negative or critical, just support the people who display that courage. Be supportive. You know, my teacher in school had once told us, just ignore all the boos. They usually come from losers and cheap seats. Ignore the negative energy. Seriously. Make the choices that are right for you.
And just smile every time someone says something about you that isn’t true or kind. Just tell yourself, damn, at least I got myself a fan. And I’m building a fan club. Take good care of yourselves, everyone. And we’ll speak to you again next week. Love you all so much. Bye for now.
