Chasing happiness is futile !!!
Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it the more it will elude you – Henry David Thoreau
We’ve all been there…thinking we can search for happiness that is external to ourselves.
We chase this and chase that, hoping it’s going to fill whatever void is within us. We hope we will find this elusive happiness and remain happy.
The stark reality is, that we won’t, and this can be a brutal lesson to learn if, in fact, we ever get to learn it.
The truth is, the happiness we so desperately seek is within us, not in the things we collect, the constant hustle for money, the constant need to be busy and distracted and the constant desire to be popular.
The truth is, that we are taught that money and material things are far more important than they really are. We are taught that our relationships should be some sort of a fairy tale. We are conditioned to believe that being vulnerable, speaking of pain and sadness, and showing our authenticity, in all its messiness, is somehow a sign of weakness. We are taught to get busy, distract ourselves, and search for what makes us feel good, all in the hope that we may dismiss any uncomfortable feelings. We learn to bury every negative feeling we have and continue on our fruitless journey searching for external happiness. I mean, we certainly don’t want to make anyone else uncomfortable by being honest with our feelings.
The reality is, that we cannot always be happy, and that’s okay. Life happens, and it is a roller coaster. We will face pain, sadness, betrayal, confusion, guilt, shame, loss, and grief. We will have to move through the darkness when required. But deluding ourselves into thinking that these things can just be pushed aside and that we have to be constantly happy is not healthy either. Nothing will make you more miserable than lying to yourself and hiding how you really feel. Or worse running away from it and numbing yourself to emotions by either drinking or smoking or keeping yourself overly busy is never the solution.
Everyone is always busy filing that void within when the truth is you will not find happiness in a better job, more money, a bigger house, more likes, more followers, a better body, a younger face, a bottle of your favourite alcohol, a pill, a cigarette, more clothes, another pair of shoes, a new car, or whatever else you think you need to make you happy. Yes, all these things will give you a quick fix but like any addict, you will be searching for your next hit once all the gloss and shine wears off. That’s the thing with voids; they always need to be filled.
So, what makes you happy? The answer is – You! You make “YOU” happy. You do the hard work on yourself; you face your own dark side and we all have one, you tell the truth to yourself and those closest to you, and you dance with them. You stop sweeping things under the carpet and denying how you really feel. You show up for yourself with vulnerability and courage. You show up for others when you need to. You stop looking for validation in others, you spend more time going within yourself.
Stop looking and paying so much attention to everything that is on social media for quick fixes and success at all costs. The internet is saturated with advice which, sometimes, is more damaging than helpful. Stop thinking shiny new things will make everything better—they won’t. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else’s highlights & reels. Stop living your life on social media…!!!
There’ll always be a reason to keep colouring inside the lines you’ve drawn for yourself. It’ll be agonizing to leave behind what feels comfortable to pursue what’s uncomfortable—and to step into the unknown, where all things that never existed are created.
But, as Zora Neale Hurston writes, “there is no agony like bearing an untold story inside you.”
