So many of us say and do things without realising the impact it may have on someone. You may forget what you said but they will remember what you said and how it made them feel. Words have such an impact, so we have to be careful how we use them.
Let me share this story with you a friend of mine told me because I feel it’s a powerful story with a powerful message.
Two friends, a man and a woman, were walking down the road. The woman was listening to the man talking about a discussion he had with his wife earlier that day. The man said that his wife had told him that each time he lost his temper with her, she felt like leaving him, and he could not understand why she would say such a thing. The woman had an idea of how to help her friend to understand the problem. She told her friend, “Every time you lose your temper with your wife, I want you to go outside into your garden, and dig a small hole. The man was confused but agreed to do it.
Three weeks later when the friends met up again, the woman asked the man if he had done as she asked. The man told the woman that in the first week he had dug over 12 holes! But in the weeks that followed, he had found it exhausting knowing that each time he lost his temper, he had to go and dig another hole and so he found that he had been losing his temper less and less. The man, feeling very pleased with himself, told his friend that he had not dug a hole in a few days. The woman asked the man if he understood what his wife had said, the man said that he still did not get it and so his friend then made another suggestion, “now, each day that goes by without you losing your temper, I want you to fill each hole with some dirt”. The man was not impressed, but seeing as though he still did not understand his wife’s feelings, and being curious about where his friend was going with this ‘experiment’, he agreed to do this.
When the friends next met up at his house a few weeks later, the man told his friend that he had filled all the holes, “let’s take a look”, the woman said. Sure enough, all the holes were filled and in the spaces were the grass once laid, there was dirt. The friend commented on the state of the garden, “look how uneven the grass is, and look at all the patches; it looks awful out here”, she said. The man was very upset, and asked her why she had asked him to dig up the holes, when she knew what would happen to the garden. “Yes”, the woman said, “both I, and your wife knew what would happen to the grass, but you did not”
“You see, the grass represents your wife. Each time you lose your temper or say something out of anger, you are destroying the grass bit by bit. Now, I know you are sorry each time you do it, but as you can see, even though you have tried to make amends; it still looks different doesn’t it? You can either continue to dig the holes throughout the garden, destroy it all and be left with nothing, or you can start to make amends and learn from it. But remember this; It will take a long time to get that grass back to how it once was”.
So many of us do and say things without realising the impact. Words alone can be so powerful; it is so important to try and be careful with how you choose to use them. You may forget what you said to someone today, or tomorrow, but they will remember what you said, and how it made them feel
Sometimes words create a wound that are slower to heal than physical wounds. They leave a scar that never quite goes away. Therefore, be careful with your words. Nothing causes more regret than saying something that hurts another human being. Just be kind- in thought, action and words.
And so, I will leave you with a quote – “Don’t mix words with your bad mood, you will have many opportunities to change your mood but you will never get the opportunity to change the words you spoke.”
