I usually don’t take everything I read on any social media platform seriously. But recently I saw this clip.
It has been popularised by many influencers including Mel Robbins an American podcast host and speaker on her many channels in the last two weeks. The idea is that the next time you are feeling left out or fed up, because your friend doesn’t invite you to an event, or the person you are dating doesn’t want to commit to a long-term relationship or because your partner doesn’t want to exercise with you – Just let them.
When the people in your life are not showing up in the way that you ‘need them to’ or want them to, you simply allow them to be themselves. We can spend so much time and energy trying to control what others do or don’t do. It can take up a lot of our head space. By letting others be, they will show you who they are. And then you get to choose what you do next.
While it may not apply in 100 percent of situations, it has a lot of application and benefits. When you “let them” do what they want to do, you quickly gain more peace, balance and control. The truth is that you can use this in your everyday situations. Be it with your friends, your family or even at work. The fact is that this allows you to detach from the outcome. You give space for other people to take responsibility and you in turn are avoiding any sort of stress. Trying to control others and fighting with reality can actually cause a lot of stress.
The ‘let them’ theory is clearly resonating with many people. It went viral and more than 15 million people have seen it and 11,000 have commented on Mel Robbins first Instagram post fifteen days ago.
It can be used with friends and family and even at work. It allows you to detach from the outcome. You give space for other people to take responsibility and you avoid stress. Trying to control others and fighting with reality causes stress.
We control things in life for two main reasons – because we are afraid or because we love a person and want the best for them – or maybe a combination. Focussing on what others are doing also distracts us from what we really ‘should’ be focusing on – ourselves – and our own behaviours and actions. We do this because it is often easier to focus on other people. But at the end of the day, we cannot control anyone – only ourselves. We can encourage others. We can be kind to them. We can try and manipulate them – but ultimately, we can only control ourselves.
The ‘let them’ theory is a great way of turning that responsibility around to where it should be. It brings the focus back to you – and the choices you make. If you are feeling excluded, getting obsessed or stressed won’t help. It will distract you from what you can do. It will distract you from where your true power lies.
Maybe instead of trying to control others, it would make more sense and you would get further if you focus on what you can do. Use the time to get on top of your own situation. Organise events you want to go to. Letting others be who they are and do what they want to do – can also do wonders for your relationships. Allowing others to be themselves will make them feel accepted and free to be who they are.
So the next time a friend or a family member is going out with someone you don’t like, or they don’t ask your opinion, or they don’t invite you, may be the best thing to do is to apply the theory and let them!
