Hey, hello sunshine and how have you been? You know I was shopping at the mall the other day and right at the aisle where I was, there were these two girls in an intense discussion about something and I tried not to overhear them but then one of them yelled at the other girl and she said, you know no one is coming to save you, it’s time you get your act together and move on. I mean enough of this, really enough. I tried not to react, of course I didn’t react and I tried to pretend like I wasn’t really listening in on their conversation and I continued with my shopping.
But all through my way home, I was thinking about what the girl had said. So often we hear this, no one is coming to save you, get up and get your act together. What do you think about this? You look up to really think of it, have you really given this enough of a thought? Maybe we have, you know, we all have our social groups, we all have our friends and our family and our neighbours that we socialise with, that over a period of time we learn to rely on.
And it’s perfectly okay to depend on each other in times of joy and sorrow because that’s the bond we share with them that forms some of the most precious moments in the story of our lives. You know, almost all of us have people or at least that one person in our life who would drop everything to help us in a crisis. But you know sometimes what happens? Even the most reliable of friends, even the most loyal of friends, the most devoted family members, the most reliable neighbours are sometimes unable to be there for us in the manner that we want them to be.
They may not be able to reach us on time. And it’s not because they don’t love us or they don’t care for us, it’s because we have to understand that they are living their own lives too. They have their own struggles, they have their own worries, they have their own challenges.
And let’s face it, at some point or the other, maybe we also were not able to be there for someone who really needed us because we were probably dealing with our own problems, coping with our own struggles. It’s important to understand that although people will be there for us when we really need them, this expectation that they’re going to be there for us at all times needs to be done away with. We need to let that go.
At the end of the day, understand that people cannot fight our battles for us. And it’s not fair that we expect them to fight our battles with us. Now I’m not trying to paint a sad or a pessimistic picture, but I’m trying to say something really realistic here.
The fact is that we need to learn to rely on ourselves. That doesn’t mean that we can’t lean on people every once in a while or when we really need help from someone, but rather that we learn to stand on our own majority of the times. It means having the maturity to understand that if help comes our way, if support comes our way, that’s beautiful and we need to be grateful for that.
But it’s necessary for us to be able to have the ability to stand on our own two feet. When we are younger and relatively more naive, we believe that if something bad happens to us, there will be someone or the other who will come and sweep all the problems away and help us feel better. But as we grow older, we realize that everyone around us has their own problems to deal with, their own struggles to cope with.
And while our parents may try to do the best they can for us, and our friends will try to be there as many times as we want them to be, we have to understand that there may be times that they may not be able to be there for us. Sometimes the ones that love us the most may not be able to notice that we’re struggling with something. And that’s all part of what we call life.
Each one of us is trying to live out the story of our lives. You know, there is a certain liberation involved in understanding that self-sufficiency is like a strong foundation that we build inside of ourselves. It’s not about isolating ourselves from others or giving up on others.
It’s about understanding that building this inner strength is important because that will help us face our challenges and problems. And that will help us even move forward without excessively relying on others. Now, I’m not telling you to shut yourself out or pretend that you’re not vulnerable or pretend that you’re this hyper-independent individual who can handle everything on their own.
All I’m saying is, try to build a kind of strength that’s flexible, one that allows us to bend without snapping. You know, when we learn to be more self-sufficient, we allow ourselves to show up in a more authentic manner in our relationships. Because then we’re not constantly looking for someone to fix our problems or to fix us when we’re going through some crisis.
We’re able to connect with people in a more genuine manner. We build those genuine friendships. We develop those genuine connections.
And you know, honestly, that’s the biggest gift we can give to our loved ones. This freedom from having to show up for us every time they think we are crumbling. This freedom from having to cope with our problems on top of their own problems.
This freedom to want to kind of be there for us and be our saviors. You know, earlier I’d said, develop a kind of strength that helps you be a little flexible. You know, for that to happen, we need to be very mindful about regulating our emotions.
Learning to be comfortable with being alone and dealing with things on our own. Because it’s not that you’ll be surrounded by people all the time, always. Once you accept that no one is coming to save you, you also realize that no one can take that power away from you.
The moment you take responsibility for your own journey, you start moving forward with a certain sense of purpose and determination. And you don’t have to wait for someone else to come and open those doors for you or unlock those doors for you. Because you hold the key to all of those doors.
And so yes, nobody may come to save you, but it’s okay. Because you’ve got this. And so I’m going to leave you with this wonderful quote by Eleanor Roosevelt.
And it goes, In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.
Here’s to each one of you having a great week ahead of you. And understanding that it’s important and it’s so liberating being self-sufficient. Again, that doesn’t mean you stop being vulnerable when there’s a need or you stop leaning on someone if you really feel the need to.
Because let me tell you, sometimes there’s so much of comfort in just relying on a friend or just kind of venting out to a friend or just reaching out to someone and saying, you know, hey, I’m having a bad day, want to go and have a cup of coffee with me? There’s a certain warmth in that too. But understanding that you need to stand on your own two feet and start handling a lot of your problems on your own will give you that sense of freedom. We’ll talk to you again next week.
So much of love to each one of you. Bye for now.
